Pernah ga, kalian iri sama seseorang, baik itu deket ataupun cuma dari jauh, not their look, not their money, not anything materialistic, but their personality.
I kind of feel like it nowadays.
Long story short, I have this best friend for life who is totally the opposite of me (in a good way).
She’s sociable, someone who knows everyone, everywhere, and actually getting noticed by crowds when she wonders.
Me, I kind of someone who socially awkward, couldn’t speak freely to someone whom I don’t “know”, kind of panicked when spotted in places that I don’t feel comfortable with, and when I got panicked, it. got. weird.
Dork, you might say, and to add more, I’m having this inability to start new friendship, without someone else started it first.
You can say, I’m moving towards introvert side, and she’s extrovert. I know people didn’t actually believe when I said I’m introvert, because when I felt comfortable with one clan, I could actually speak freely.
But the moment from not knowing, to feel comfortable, is a long long looooong way to go.
Other thing that I adore from her is her ability to actually get “socialized” with people. She can go mingle with tons of different people, her social-wires are a super long, untangle connectivity across our living spaces.
And what I meant with “socialized” is this relationship with others she had are all except a pure bull talk.
She could actually talk with her actual personality, when people like me, we kind of shield ourselves from people we don’t know to dig deeper to ourselves.
I don’t know why, maybe we don’t want our flaws to be shown, because people are basically desperately hungry for perfection.
This spooky, weird shyness that people like me had (and, shamelessly develop) oddly enough, does not happen when work-related activities got involved.
Maybe because people striving for greatness in work, could banished this un-needed human nature.
Maybe when you got yourself swam into your schedule, those social interaction, does not really matter, or you just care less.
Maybe some people wanted a stable life, with no ups-and-down feeling like you have when you are having a relationship with others.
And I wonder, if this confidence at work, is translatable to human relationship.
I just need to find the way, and the cure.