Growing up, Habit, Happiness, Human, Learn, Life, Love, People, Personal, Random, Uncategorized


we are once a wanderer of our own, chasing what’s on our mind within our own thoughts, solves our worriedness in loneliness, seeking the power of melancholic writing or searching for romanticized-lyric, just to give some relieve in our heavy-unshared thinking.

then we bumped into someone, when suddenly this customs are, well it’s not really an obligation, but you know you need some adaptation.

adjusting, to share what’s on your mind, to let them wanders around your thought with you, to welcome them on your world.

and somehow, it wasn’t as hard as you predict it would be. there’s still some things you keep to yourself, which is fairly humane I think. but after all, those fences you thought no one else could break, is piece by piece flew by without you even noticing.



that’s one person you talking about.

what about others, that came along with it?

is your fence wide enough to welcome those? or do YOU have the willingness to open your fence for them? are you comfortable enough, to adjust your highly-privatized life and turn it into a complete opposite of it?


human relationship possessed a completely strange vibe. you could switch over to a different personality you have never know ever existed. you suddenly have power to give in your human nature, and give way for others characteristic to penetrate you. you NEVER wanted to change things in that particular person, that never bother you in the first place, they are still as perfect as you found them way back them. you LOVE how they found comfort on others, as much as you found it on your own. then you started to consider, are you  too “exclusive”, too picky, or just vibrate in a completely odd frequency compare to others? you tried to change yourself, thinking maybe the exact problem lies within you and your stupid fences.


but then the question next is, are you absolutely pleasant with it?









“you could still be

what you want to be,

what you said you were,

when you met me” 




Confident, Discovery, Growing up, Life, Thought

Growing Pains

Things about growing you have never notice until you sit back, and calculating your missteps, failures and success throughout years. Stuffs that have no meaning at all at certain time, now could mean absolutely everything to you.

Age DID do something to you. You gain, yet you lose little part of you. All eyes can witness is when physic changes, but hearts and human being around you had noticed that you, yes you, are not the same as you in years prior.

  1. You became the most selfish version of yourself. You want something you can’t have, you hate something you’re supposed to love, and the feeling that used to grow on you start to fade.
  2. You start to compensate everything. When you did something, your head start to calculate the impact it will do to yourself, or your surroundings. I HATE this. Can’t we just do everything without too much consideration, purely base on what your heart desire, what makes you comfortable with, what makes you entirely happy?
  3. What people see is what your eyes can see. You lose your own judgment and replace it with others; people’s opinion became your source of confidence and downfall. I lose track on how many times I had this hesitation on doing something, just because it wasn’t everyone cups of tea. Sometimes I miss the feeling of jumping on bike for the first time. The thrill of satisfying your curiosity with no deliberation on what parents might think or friends mocking your clumsiness is simply precious.
  4. Missing things you’ve lost, those who left, and people who’ve gone. The worst feeling you’ve ever encounter is the feeling when you want to see certain people, heard their laughs, or simply have that specific someone to hear your thought. Some people are irreplaceable, and growing up is the only way to distinguish who do matter and not. Not to mention the possibility of regret: of not doing something, of not fighting the battle you’ve never even started, of not having enough time with them.
  5. Get this annoying sickness called depression. Whether from work, friends, your own thoughts, and every single thing that isn’t supposed to matter, could ruin your whole day. When overloading something on your head could mess up your mind. When get over something could take days, or even weeks to get over with.


Continue reading