Growing up, Habit, Happiness, Human, Learn, Life, Love, People, Personal, Random, Uncategorized


we are once a wanderer of our own, chasing what’s on our mind within our own thoughts, solves our worriedness¬†in loneliness, seeking the power of melancholic writing or searching for romanticized-lyric, just to give some relieve in our heavy-unshared thinking.

then we bumped into someone, when suddenly this customs are, well it’s not really¬†an obligation, but you know you need some adaptation.

adjusting, to share what’s on your mind, to let them wanders around your thought with you, to welcome them on your world.

and somehow, it wasn’t as hard as you predict it would be. there’s still some things you keep to yourself,¬†which is¬†fairly humane I think. but after all, those fences you thought no one else could break, is piece by piece flew by without you even noticing.



that’s one person you talking about.

what about others, that came along with it?

is your fence wide enough to welcome those? or do YOU have the willingness to open your fence for them? are you comfortable enough, to adjust your highly-privatized life and turn it into a complete opposite of it?


human relationship possessed a completely¬†strange vibe. you¬†could¬†switch over to¬†a different¬†personality you have never know ever existed.¬†you¬†suddenly have power to give in your¬†human nature, and¬†give way for others characteristic to¬†penetrate you. you NEVER wanted to change things in that particular person, that never bother you in the first place, they are still as perfect as you found them way back them.¬†you¬†LOVE how they found comfort on others, as much as you¬†found it on your own.¬†then you started to¬†consider, are you¬† too “exclusive”, too picky, or just vibrate in a completely¬†odd frequency compare to others? you¬†tried to change yourself, thinking¬†maybe the exact problem lies within you and your stupid fences.


but then the question next is, are you absolutely pleasant with it?









“you could still be

what you want to be,

what you said you were,

when you met me”¬†




Family, People, Personal, Pray, Thought

Doa Untuk Abang

People said, words came out of your mouth is a simple form of pray;
People said, things we have in our mind regarding those people around us, are simply an unspoken prayer;
I believe that God heard every single thing, from prayers we screamed out of our lungs, to those little whispers we said in the middle of our loneliness, or at night when no one could hear you
Well, I decided to take chance to write this post for my one and only older brother i have ūüôā

Untuk Abangku tersayang,
Abang terbaik, terpinter, terganteng yang pernah ada di hidup gue,
Abang terbawel, tercemburuan, tersupel yang paling ngangenin
All i ever dreamed of for my future-husband to look like,

Now you live on your own, for the first time of your life, so distance from your usual life in those easy life you have before. It took times, maybe not as instant as you wanted to be, to get used to live this way. I know it’s hard, as i know how your huge social circle is in this big city we called home. I know how you LOVE urban life, and how you hate places with no network connection, now all i can hear now is you yelling, calling names of those provider who gave you crappy internet connection when you need to send something to your friends. I’m laughing hysterically as i write this…

But i also know how easy you socialize with someone new. How people love being around you, hearing tons of your jokes as well as feeling secure with your protective side of you. I know how you can stay out late till morning with dozens of friends with completely opposite personality, and you do it as easy as flipping back hands, while i found it hard to accomplish, let alone to make them as long-time best friend for life. I know how smart you are buried behind those bad-boy look you have.

You are the one who shows me that people can actually grow. You no longer that young boy who stay up late out of nowhere, making Moms and Dads worried as hell, calculated every single horrible probability about where or what you’re doing those time. Now you turned into this responsible man, always calm me down when i have this annoying nerve that comes out of nowhere, spreading anger and hates everywhere, when back in the days, I used to be the one who calmed you down.

Here’s a little pray for you:

May God give you strength, to take chances and decision on your life, and believe in it.
May God open your mind to always dreams, and have faith in the power within you
May He bless you with warm smiles everyday, so that you always, always believe that life is not as crappy as you might think it is
May He strengthen your feet, on your path to achieve every dreams you mind, and tighten His hand on yours while you shaken up when things gone rough
May distance won’t ever made you weak, instead open your eyes to separate those who stays, and those who don’t
May each day, people fond of you and your charms, and find the true kindness I see in your eyes every single day since the day we were destined to be siblings ūüôā

Have tons and TONS of lucks, Bang Andrew!
Go run, and achieve those dreams flew around your head ‚̧ ‚̧
I love you my annoying brother so much, damn sometimes it hurts!

News, Peace, Personal


I may not be French.
I may not be a liberal.
I may not be Western-born, or an immigrant.
I may not be a journalist, or writer, or people who composed their ideas to the world.

But I believe in freedom of speaking and courage to speak what’s on my mind.
This is an attack on independent journalism, on the freedom to inform and to comment, on the satisfaction of outrageous yet humorous ideas people had.
You may be disagree with words that people say, but the right to speak is ABSOLUTE.
If the right to speak is seized, what’s left on this civilization we could be proud of?

(On Charlie Hebdo Massacre in Paris, France, 07 January 2015)

Favorite, Personal, Random

10 Random Things TAG

1. I once weighted 80 Kg (around 160 pounds) when i was in Junior High. OMG think about it now, i do feel “jeez, what food did you consume? Did you eat horses?!! I I believe you look like a disco ball, walking around with your big tummy, big hair, yet short body” Well, more like a pregnant sheep, i think.


2. I once dreamed about being a writer. And freakishly, i sold my full-with-handwriting-novel to my classmate back when i was an elementary student. Disgustingly, i wrote my name “Angelia Khaterine Spears” or something like that, on it. Ehm. Not even close, Khat. Not even close. The story revolves around cheezy-teenage-love-affair, tragic ending (yeah, whatever, the girl died), and i actually still have a copy of that novel in my house. That was my first original masterpiece, nobody can screw that thing from me!


3. I’m a crazily organized person. I believed this is a mental problem. I couldn’t see any single hairfall in my floor, i couldn’t see any all-tangled-shirt in my cupboard, i couldn’t see any single book falling in my bookselves, i couldn’t do anything out of order, i…the lists are endless. I’m weird. I know. When i did something not in the right order, i might get really anxious, which. is. bad. Don’t ask me to show it to you, you don’t even wanna know.


4. I eat only the tip of my bread. You know, the ‘gosong’ one that everybody keeps throwing it out? The brownie one? OMG. That thing is precious guys! Don’t even THINK to throw it in front of me, except you wanna see a big-mouthed-mouth open suddenly in front of you, ask to be feed.


5. I have X legs. Shut up, you people. Blame my maid. Blame her for not giving me enough vitamin D from the sun. BLAME HER. Now i live with my X legs, wearing skinny jeans with shame.


6. I’m not a night owl. I’m not a morning person, either. I’m a SUPER EARLY person. I wake up usually at 4 o’clock IN THE MORNING. Holy God. Nobody should wake that early, girlfriend. NOBODY.


7. I could do 3-4 things in the same time. I literally do. I could read novel, while listening to music, while also watching movies in the same time. I could run on treadmill, while reading novels, while listening to super loud music. I could ran my dogs, while reading novels, while listening to music. I could type my final paper, while watching movies (which played in the same Laptop), while reading novels, while eating my breakfast. I don’t know why people always laugh when they saw me doing this threesome-thingy. I think my brain just split to 3-4 compartment, each has their own separate task lists. Or maybe i’m just a plain freak? I don’t know.


8. I could type super fast. Not to be bragging you with my oh-my-gosh-i-can-type-like-10-fingers-and-you-don’t ability, but i just did the 10 fingers method that we learned once in elementary school and it really works. Thinking about it, i also the fastest typewriter back when i was in elementary school. I guess everybody just thought “wow, this fat-and-lion-haired-girl is crazy. Why did she make a LOT of noise, just to type?” Well…Nobody can screw around me while i type. This is a holy-experience of mine. I can make as much of noise as i want.


9. I love make up. I literally do. Well, shame on you, boys. You can’t make your face looks like a walking disco ball without justification “oh, typical girl. Playing around with their makeup without knowing they look totally like voodo dolls”. Well, make up just makes me happy. I love all youtube-makeup related videos, i love reading makeup review, i CAN’T stop my hands from buying new makeup, i CAN’T leave my house without my powder and little bit of blush. I just can’t.


10. I could make a lot of weird thing with my food. Sometimes when i shared my experience around my “food-creativity”, people just look disgusted, like “THE HELL, WHAT KIND OF TOXIC YOU’RE EATING?!!” kind of face. Example: I ate my oatmeal with soy sauce and spicy ketchup, i overnight-freeze my oatmeal until it looks like a pudding, i don’t put any marmalade or jam or chocolote or any kind of crap on my bread, i DRANK my condensed milk right from its jar (ew, gross. but hmmmm…delicious), i ate my baby carrot while running, and so on. Anyway, you should try my invention guys. Really, it doesn’t taste as bad as my story. Maybe.




WELL, That was it! I tag everybody here, who accidentally read my blog, my blog friends, ALL of you, to do this tag. This is fun! I laughed like crazy while making this. In the middle of my office.