Crisis, Daily, Life, Love, People, Resolution, Uncategorized

Year-End

I wish:

1. This childish part of me would be disappeared, not instantly but day by day. Stop being an ignorant brat; do everything much faster than I was before; most importantly to be able to think about others first than mine.
2. I could sectioned my head to dozens counterparts that work individually, so that I could think million different things at the same time.
3. I have nerves to do, to speak, to act as what my head asked me to do.
4. My head could operate rationally once in a while. Especially when Life doesn’t need your heart to take part on making decision.
5. I could be the reason for someone’s happiness, the source of somebody’s laugh, the one that relieve pains. It doesn’t need to be major, small things do have impact even just tiny little bit.

I’m good at making lists.
Terrible at turning it to reality.

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Dream, Inspired, Resolution, Thought

Brave Heart

2014’s coming to an end and everyone’s biggest nightmares are just about to hit the rock. Whether this come out from the lips of your beloved ones, your closest somebody, parents or people who just met you after billion years apart, these questioned just hurt the same when your answered is just the same as last year,

or year before

or 5 years ago

or way waaay before.

That your resolutions are just not working.
Or your plan hadn’t work as you’ve arranged to.
Or that those resolution just need more years to come to be resolved.

People are starting to make this failed achievement as a common joke, to celebrate their failed attempt as big box of laughing machine.
To hide their extreme pique, their exhaustion of continuously feeling as a failure, to made the whole fiasco of their whole-year plan disappear as quick as wind.
I’m not a hypocrite, I, surely did that too.

I have tons of failed plan that just doesn’t work this year.
I have things that supposed to be work out easily this year, but the closer I got to that reaching point, I just bumped to a realization that….No, you don’t work out for me.
Why waste time to something that cage your life, make you miserable of thinking you might hurt someone or disappointing someone, when you have time to discover something else, make times for yourself to determine who/what you need in this mean time.
Theory just don’t always work in reality.
When people think you’re a perfect match, does your heart tell so?
Do you act naturally in front of them, do you experience that bonfire heart, when you talked to them?
If not, why stomp your feet on the same ground, when what you need is running to search your real base point?
Why pushing yourself too hard to fit yourself to someone, when you can find something/someone else that can do justice on what you do and what you are naturally?

Woah….that’s a lot of words just to tell that you just leave something. Oh dear, these hands just won’t stop.

I have tons of failed plans this year, yes some pissed me off, some I could blame it to my own.
But failures are something to be learned, not to be cried over.
2014 has given me tons of high notes to take every single second it flew by:
I learned that you shall not depends on someone to make your dreams come true.
I learn that you better be quiet on your PMS, instead of screaming things you would regret later.
I learn that planning is better when you’re old and frizzy. When you still have your youth glow, embrace yourself to adventure that never even occurred on your sane mind that you might do that kind of stuff. Whether alone or with bundle of companions.
I learned that at the end people will be confronted by the bitter part of growing up: parting with your family. Whether to chase money, to pursue degree or…to build your own.

So many thing to be learned of. And we have 31.536.000 to run that lessons, 365 days to try on something new and 52 weeks to succeed your life, or failed miserably and raise again.

So 2015, what would you did to me?
Oh no, self, what would you do to 2015?

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