Growing up, Habit, Happiness, Human, Learn, Life, Love, People, Personal, Random, Uncategorized


we are once a wanderer of our own, chasing what’s on our mind within our own thoughts, solves our worriedness in loneliness, seeking the power of melancholic writing or searching for romanticized-lyric, just to give some relieve in our heavy-unshared thinking.

then we bumped into someone, when suddenly this customs are, well it’s not really an obligation, but you know you need some adaptation.

adjusting, to share what’s on your mind, to let them wanders around your thought with you, to welcome them on your world.

and somehow, it wasn’t as hard as you predict it would be. there’s still some things you keep to yourself, which is fairly humane I think. but after all, those fences you thought no one else could break, is piece by piece flew by without you even noticing.



that’s one person you talking about.

what about others, that came along with it?

is your fence wide enough to welcome those? or do YOU have the willingness to open your fence for them? are you comfortable enough, to adjust your highly-privatized life and turn it into a complete opposite of it?


human relationship possessed a completely strange vibe. you could switch over to a different personality you have never know ever existed. you suddenly have power to give in your human nature, and give way for others characteristic to penetrate you. you NEVER wanted to change things in that particular person, that never bother you in the first place, they are still as perfect as you found them way back them. you LOVE how they found comfort on others, as much as you found it on your own. then you started to consider, are you  too “exclusive”, too picky, or just vibrate in a completely odd frequency compare to others? you tried to change yourself, thinking maybe the exact problem lies within you and your stupid fences.


but then the question next is, are you absolutely pleasant with it?









“you could still be

what you want to be,

what you said you were,

when you met me” 




Human, Life, Uncategorized


Pernah ga, kalian iri sama seseorang, baik itu deket ataupun cuma dari jauh, not their look, not their money, not anything materialistic, but their personality.

Their confidence?

I kind of feel like it nowadays.

Long story short, I have this best friend for life who is totally the opposite of me (in a good way).
She’s sociable, someone who knows everyone, everywhere, and actually getting noticed by crowds when she wonders.
Me, I kind of someone who socially awkward, couldn’t speak freely to someone whom I don’t “know”, kind of panicked when spotted in places that I don’t feel comfortable with, and when I got panicked, it. got. weird.

Dork, you might say, and to add more, I’m having this inability to start new friendship, without someone else started it first.
You can say, I’m moving towards introvert side, and she’s extrovert. I know people didn’t actually believe when I said I’m introvert, because when I felt comfortable with one clan, I could actually speak freely.

But the moment from not knowing, to feel comfortable, is a long long looooong way to go.

Other thing that I adore from her is her ability to actually get “socialized” with people. She can go mingle with tons of different people, her social-wires are a super long, untangle connectivity across our living spaces.
And what I meant with “socialized” is this relationship with others she had are all except a pure bull talk.
She could actually talk with her actual personality, when people like me, we kind of shield ourselves from people we don’t know to dig deeper to ourselves.
I don’t know why, maybe we don’t want our flaws to be shown, because people are basically desperately hungry for perfection.

This spooky, weird shyness that people like me had (and, shamelessly develop) oddly enough, does not happen when work-related activities got involved.
Maybe because people striving for greatness in work, could banished this un-needed human nature.
Maybe when you got yourself swam into your schedule, those social interaction, does not really matter, or you just care less.
Maybe some people wanted a stable life, with no ups-and-down feeling like you have when you are having a relationship with others.

And I wonder, if this confidence at work, is translatable to human relationship.
I just need to find the way, and the cure.