Discovery, Europe, Germany, Health, Hope, Human, Human Project, Indonesia, Life, Medicine, Uncategorized

Angel of Death

I was about to write this a couple weeks ago, when a small gathering brought up old news to the table: the chaotic situation of healthcare industry.

The fake vaccines, the ill-fated doctors, messed up hospital administration, supported by the bubble of new registries in medicine school (which has no credible accreditation, just a promise of graduation paper and title of eligible medicine graduate) have just blown my mind.

I’m petrified to learn that people, even in the most ‘angelic’ industry, played fate on others life like it’s just a piece of meat.



Fake vaccines, same as lots of other unregistered medicine circulated in this country, has proved how this industry has an incredibly weak foundation while holding whole nation’s fate at his hands. As one of the people under this foundation, truthfully I was concerned and sadly, trusted nothing.

If vaccines, which got injected to most of the children in Indonesia, got hijacked, I wonder how easily my daily dose of vitamin c, or paracetamol to my headache, got smudged or even poisoned with unknown substance. I was living in the big city, yet got ‘deceived’, so how was the fate of other children in the most remote area, who only got their medicine from specific pharmacy, listened to one unregistered local doctor?

They know nothing, paid everything, yet received nothing.


Where is government, or ministry, or whatever they called to supervise this mess around pharmacology? Was medicine supposedly needed a strict regulation, from the production, distribution, until it reached its final users? Medicine, as I quoted from local newspaper, was chemical substances with pharmacological reaction, which can cause either improvement or damages on human races.

Were doctors and nurses even understood what kind of substances they used?



Ill-fated doctor was another case.

I understand quite frankly, that healthcare industry is a complex matter; everyday new symptoms from the evolution of human genetics come to the surface, but hey, enough with the excuse! People (I mean, millions of people) paid this industry whole lot of money. Have we heard enough improvisation, or enough scientists (not just doctors, I meant those expert who DID research) do enough research? This line of ‘smartest’ people in this nation has been paid a LOT of money, they HAVE TO do their extended job AND research more than ordinary people with ordinary job. I have one grandmother who deceased lately, with one of the main reason was doctor getting their national holiday and could not provide their services.

Have they learned that people’s life has no holiday? These hearts would not stop their beat, even when we pray or sleep.

This just one case in thousands of thousands cases in this industry. Every person has their own personal dreadful experiences.


Sometimes I was thinking how scary it is to know that from the beginning, we have no idea what are those substance that coming through our throat. Healthcare industry was one of the most complicated industries, so commoners like us could not easily understood from the start: the diagnosed, script of medicine we got, how much money we spent, and how those ‘expert’ judgment worth our money, yet we gave our life on this handful of people.

To add the horror, one book I read lately, The Good Nurse, basically told story about nurse who had mental problems, yet still working in healthcare industry for years, messing with patients medications in sober condition, caused death of hundreds of people under his supervisions, all because patients DON’T understand what was injected to their veins. Hospitals and doctors, not even care.

Really, the craziest people were coming right from the doors of this industry.



I’m trying to find how this tangle could end, and I came to these comparisons.

Compared to European countries, I’ve sensing what was “messing” with this industry.

In Indonesia, Doctors were God.

In Europe, Doctors were Human.

In Germany, for example, doctors has no shame to open a book, take a moment to do their research in their personal library, or even do their research on the inter web, asking other professional experiences on the same cases.

They knew human mind DO mistakes, and they were indeed humans too.

They knew a symptoms could mean thousands different kind of sickness. By researching, or even without shame asking advice from others (in front of their patients), they knew they could minimize these common mistakes. Most of the time, they could only handle 8-10 patients a day, because 1 patients with ‘headache, stomachache, cough’ could take them an hour of deep analysis.

What I appreciated most on how these western doctors did elaborate their diagnoses, is how they showed us commoners how their decision were taken right from the resources (books, expertise). This shows us how they treated us as equal, not some commoners who knew nothing, understood nothing, yet trusted everything. They even explain how the expenses they asked us to pay were coming from: how much their diagnoses valued (this differed on how complicated our sickness were), why they choose certain medicine and how much they costs.

They valued us as King.

Different in Indonesia when Doctors were valued as King and worst, God.

God KNEW everything, and didn’t have to do the ‘read and study’ like commoners did. Headache means headache, stomachache means diarrhea, and cough means inflammations. This wheal goes on and on, spinning around without explanation. Yet, Doctors got one of the highest paying jobs in the country.



Well, I could not blame this entire chaos to Doctors or those who worked on this industry. We did not have health ministry just to sit around and do nothing. And for the record, our pharmacology has a respected position in the world for having a complex regulation. But did this regulation get implemented once and for all? Give people a throughout explanation on the difference between medicines whether they were expensive or cheap, show them that medicines that coming through your supervisions were trustable, so when they earned your trusts, those illegal or ‘herbal’ medicine were banished naturally.

Show consistency on how you fought illegality and supervise the circulations of medicine.

Show people that you deserved their trusts.




To all people who worked in this industry:

May you find your inner willingness to treat first, not to ask; to find a solution with careful examination, not to rush things; to always bring comfort to people with right judgment and explanations. And most importantly: to NEVER EVER stop learning, because the faith of this nation is right within your hand.

Crisis, Daily, Life, Love, People, Resolution, Uncategorized


I wish:

1. This childish part of me would be disappeared, not instantly but day by day. Stop being an ignorant brat; do everything much faster than I was before; most importantly to be able to think about others first than mine.
2. I could sectioned my head to dozens counterparts that work individually, so that I could think million different things at the same time.
3. I have nerves to do, to speak, to act as what my head asked me to do.
4. My head could operate rationally once in a while. Especially when Life doesn’t need your heart to take part on making decision.
5. I could be the reason for someone’s happiness, the source of somebody’s laugh, the one that relieve pains. It doesn’t need to be major, small things do have impact even just tiny little bit.

I’m good at making lists.
Terrible at turning it to reality.

Daily, Human, Learn, Life, Random, Thought

Learning Curve

The thing about human is we never, ever stop learning.

Whether from school, books, family, friends, or even stranger you bumped on random streets.
But our eyes is weak, they adjusted themselves to their surroundings, and forgot what they have seen before.
When you’re constantly seeing something so big, you forgot the little things you’ve used to see before.
It is still there, your eyes still caught a glimpse of it, but the desire to stick it to your brain, is disappeared.
We continuously longing for something humongous, then we forgot to appreciate the little things that mattered.

Like, when you spell what you did out on daily basis, you learned you still have that wonderful early morning chat with your cleaning assistant, when nobody’s even present yet. Learning that someone so young could bear so many responsibilities in his shoulder, and still within his power helping me on both necessary to unnecessary matters, you understood that you can learn and grow in any circumstances.
He truly is, the best computer geek I’ve ever met! 🙂

Or, when we learn that nothing’s impossible.
Even the extraordinaire planet Earth, now finally has the real reddish-planet competition, which 10 years ago might only be a mocking joke, a myth.
But hey, 10 years later we might sip our coffee in a brand new environment, might be similar to what those sci-fi movie we once watched.
The power of human creativity, fueled with determination to make it happen.

When you notice that even someone as highly and conventional as Pope, do also learn.
Learn not to be judgmental to any kind of people, even though they crossed what He taught on.
Learn not to be a pusher, but a giver.
Learn that everything he said resembled his faith; that he needs to prioritize what essential for Him, and leave what’s been only an institutional idea.
Pope Francis rocks! (and he, indeed, will release a rock album somewhat in the future!)

And you learn from one of your favorite movie of all time, that in order to change something, all you need is simply to do one single act of random kindness at a time.
That you must ask, and you shall receive.
That the greatest gift He would ever, and always give to you, is opportunity.
Opportunity to be patient, when you asked for patience. Opportunity to be courageous, when you asked for courage.
Thanks, Evan Almighty, for your life-time lesson.

Or, simply when book you re-read suddenly gave you chill.
You learn that no, you can’t plan on what’s going to REALLY happen to you.
How a person went from someone you have never met to the only one who mattered.
How sometimes, adjusting might turn into something more beautiful than completing.
Because there is no single expectation that impossible to outgrown.

Suddenly, Sondre Lerche song came out of nowhere. He did sing it best:
Prepare, to be surprised

I have so many words coming out of my head; I need to write it down -____-

Grateful, Habit, Morning, Quote, Thought

Three Things I’m Grateful For

1. To be able to help a-suddenly-confused-supervisor, who got pale after receiving an unexpected meeting invitation, even just a little bit. Seeing someone else’s relieve face is a treasure, I’m weirdly addicted to 😀

2. To hear my best friend finally got contacted by the long-lost ex, whom I secretly pray for them to re-coupling once more. Good people would find a way to find another, I believe. Am I the only person who got excited over someone else’s relationship?

3. To be able to do my usual morning habits: the wake-up, shower, have breakfast, work, with no significant disturbance. Reading news in early morning, knocked my head that this simple routine, is the thing that I SHOULD be grateful of, when others find it difficult even just to wake themselves up.

There’s so much to be grateful for, words are clearly a poor things, someone said.
And it did!

Book, Economy, Review, The Age of Selfishness, Thought, USA

The Age of Selfishness

I believe that no person in this world is considered selfless. Being selfish, or merely doing everything for the sake of our own, is humanity in real life. But how far, do we allow ourselves to neglect the altruism, within our society?

Politics and economics, two sectors that has been a quint essential of human development, are the main player in every nation in this world. Countless people has taken expertise in these subjects, leads to tons of theoretical view published nowadays, as people understood that to take over the world, you need to master the skill of both. Economics control how the world finances themselves, the welfare of society, and the distribution of money. While in politics, you learn and set strategy on how to control people.

But what people did leave behind most of the time, is how moral dimension, could turn both of these subjects, to a completely different side of coins.

It’s easily accessible, you know, readings on the economical view of the reason behind 2008 financial crisis, how the establishment of the famous credit default swaps led to house bubble effect, and the rest of the history. What’s been missing is the story behind how this option could actually rise and implemented, which in the end cause the catastrophe.

To simplify, this book made a new common sense that moral erosion, is indeed the main reason of this disaster. When objectivism, the new philosophy Ayn Rand introduced, has been injected to the mind of not only business player, but also leader as crucial as Alan Greenspan, the US Federal Reserve mastermind in terms of crisis, it could bring a whole new financial term that seemed foreign before, and at the end lead to whatever happened in the late 2008.

Objectivism, is the ideology who believe that the right of individual were paramount and not to be interfered with by the majority. They believe that everyone needs to be true to himself and his own ideals, and the idea of government and any system that reduced individual rights for the sake of common goods or as we called it nowadays collectivism, were need to be destroyed to achieve a proper life.
Basically, according to objectivism, true prosperity and freedom can only be gained through unrestrained free market.

Now imagine when Greenspan apply this idea to financial world, when he turned the tightly-regulated banking system, to an unregulated one, opening a lot of boundaries that used to be inaccessible for financial agency to do. To make it worst, financial agency were coordinated with each other tightly, making these huge mistakes became a systematic disaster, when one group failed, the rest will only need to sit back and wait for their time to come.

His reasoning, which is that reputation, is the only effective and needed way to desolate companies from building unsafe structures. Regulation, administration, and government law, are not necessary, especially in securities trading area, because every ups-and-down in financial market were calculated based on reputation built by customer satisfaction.
But what if, the reputation itself, is engineered by group of people, whose head were profit-obsessed, they turn blind eyes while building a financial house of cards? When investment banks, who should be giving a constructing advice to companies who wanted to expand their businesses, are being selfish and prioritized their mind to profit-enhancing program, whether it was ethical or not. When credit-rating companies were manipulated by those whom they have to asses, for of course, more profit to both parties.

Crisis is in fact, the moment when the collapse of ethics combine with poor regulation took place. The obsession to turn this world into a free market leads not to personal freedom as we fantasized of, but to corporate freedom. Company seems to allow predatory, value destroying behavior to become more profitable, and able to risks everything, even honest work ethics.

I could not explain much further in financial terms, since I have not enough knowledge about that sort of thing, but I do entirely enjoy the way this book explain a financial crisis, from a human-psychology point of view. How in fact one tremendous thought, could affected how human system works.
The most important part of this book, which I found extremely needed for both younger and older spectrum of society, is the fact that although we are day by day moving towards a liberated world, somehow being conservative in the form of having regulation in financial institution is still important and substantial.

Most importantly, is to incorporate kindness to consideration, in every decision we took.
Inequality will never leave this world no matter what we did, what we invent, what we construct. The way we handle differences, is the core value of being a fair and descent human being.

To be selfless is not a sense of weakness. To share and contribute for a greatest possible good is always, always a good thing.
One of the best book I’ve ever read so far.

Amaze, Culture, History, Japan, Random, Thought

Baby Lion

Welcome, to a high-pressured-high-caffeine-extremely-sleepy kind of afternoon.

So, this last couple of days, while I’m spinning for inspiration, i impulsively got so amazed with this tiny country called Japan.
Why so random?
I don’t know, maybe the search for reasons of this crazy economic hazardous crisis lead to a new discovery of this wonder country.

Have you ever wondered, how despite severe recessions and crises along with periodically natural disaster, Japan stands still as strong opponent in world industrialized competition with relatively stable and free political situation compared to other leading nations and yet still culturally rich?

Not to mention, how they could combine so perfectly: the core oriental value they learned from China, slowly Americanized without being American in time of USA colonialization, yet also not extremely late to the latest Europeanization bandwagon that happened, I believed, almost around the world.
They seemed to be able to imitate, adapt and most importantly, improved the idea they soak from these giant countries.

Let’s elaborate this judgement one by one:
If we looking on the oh-so-famous rice-sowing techniques Japan famous of, or the Confucianism and religious value they now carry, have we ever question which country came with that idea first?
I believe the technique originally came from China
Or the facts that Japan also learn about governmental, political and legal system; not to mention the army and navy, system of education and even manners. How Japan now also has already implemented German method of applying medicine is the actual prove of Europeanization.
How modern method of living an urban style that America has introduced, like listening to heavy music and making everything portable, to Western-style rooms and furniture or clothing style, that has alternate their traditional Kimono for daily appearances, now common to be found in streets of Japan.

Okay, people might think that this is an extremely common thing that happened in the modernization of a country.

But the unique thing I found about Japan is this:
Japan has now successfully improved foreign-ideas into their original idea, and then re-exports it to the world.

Have you ever wonder, even though Japanese is not the one who originally invented radio, clock or flashlight, Japanese IS the first one who combined it all into one commodity?
Or how their railway department is the fastest AND most punctual train around the world, although the first railway system were invented in Europe?

Foreigner thought speaking, I think this is all due to Japanese tend to develop something based on future expectation that they drew, which might happened to them.
Seeing they suffered with demographic crisis as a country full of island, they build a modernized railway system. Seeing the possible needs of automatic workforce in the future, they build human-like robots. Seeing the possibility of major natural disaster, they developed evacuation guide system based on GPS technology and wireless network communications that they adapted from western country. The natures of Japanese societies, which planted for centuries and has been their core value of life, become the master piece of their country development.

But Japan was not resistant to extreme changes.
With recent Shinzo Abe decision to shift their pacifism military constitution, to finally free on supporting allied forces in conflicts after being absent from battle for 70 years since World War II, I do think that even this country who has been famous for keeping their identity and values right in their chest, is also scared of the bigger power.

Anyway, I bet it will be fascinating to watch why and how Japan face this changes, with history of how they could retain their independency while incorporating elements from competing countries, and even alternate those to be advantageous to them.

As one European once said,
“Japan has adopted all of our new inventions and discoveries, has tested all systems found in Europe and has applied them in a different form, altering them as much as it was necessary to make their country more powerful.

Japan used Europe as the ladder to climb onto the top of the Far East”

This small country really is, the baby lion of this world we’re living in.

Confident, Discovery, Growing up, Life, Thought

Growing Pains

Things about growing you have never notice until you sit back, and calculating your missteps, failures and success throughout years. Stuffs that have no meaning at all at certain time, now could mean absolutely everything to you.

Age DID do something to you. You gain, yet you lose little part of you. All eyes can witness is when physic changes, but hearts and human being around you had noticed that you, yes you, are not the same as you in years prior.

  1. You became the most selfish version of yourself. You want something you can’t have, you hate something you’re supposed to love, and the feeling that used to grow on you start to fade.
  2. You start to compensate everything. When you did something, your head start to calculate the impact it will do to yourself, or your surroundings. I HATE this. Can’t we just do everything without too much consideration, purely base on what your heart desire, what makes you comfortable with, what makes you entirely happy?
  3. What people see is what your eyes can see. You lose your own judgment and replace it with others; people’s opinion became your source of confidence and downfall. I lose track on how many times I had this hesitation on doing something, just because it wasn’t everyone cups of tea. Sometimes I miss the feeling of jumping on bike for the first time. The thrill of satisfying your curiosity with no deliberation on what parents might think or friends mocking your clumsiness is simply precious.
  4. Missing things you’ve lost, those who left, and people who’ve gone. The worst feeling you’ve ever encounter is the feeling when you want to see certain people, heard their laughs, or simply have that specific someone to hear your thought. Some people are irreplaceable, and growing up is the only way to distinguish who do matter and not. Not to mention the possibility of regret: of not doing something, of not fighting the battle you’ve never even started, of not having enough time with them.
  5. Get this annoying sickness called depression. Whether from work, friends, your own thoughts, and every single thing that isn’t supposed to matter, could ruin your whole day. When overloading something on your head could mess up your mind. When get over something could take days, or even weeks to get over with.


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